


Last goodbye

by appletensai



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, POV Steve, Sorry Not Sorry, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appletensai/pseuds/appletensai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the hardest thing to do... to come and say his last goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble was written due to a meme on tumblr. Gave myself a lot of feels.

It had taken him a long time to come here. Her death was… She died seven months ago. But Steve had not been able to come her. The only time he had been at the graveyard had been at her funeral. After that… he had been too heartbroken to come here.

The other’s had understood his sadness. That he was mourning her death. That he was not the same anymore. They had accepted it for three months. But then they had started that he should get over it. Not like forgetting her. But… to move on. Live his life. Everyone had used different words, some meaner than others. But they had all meant the same. That he should lead his own life. And not stay in the past where he had had a life with Natalia.

After seven months it had been too much for Sam. Steve had not changed at all even though everyone was talking to him and almost pushing him towards her grave. So this time Sam had taken it into his hands. He had pulled Steve out of his appartement he had hardly left in the past months and pushed him into a car to get him to the graveyard. He had almost threatened him that he would do something really bad if Steve would not get to the grave and talk to Natalia. “Visit her. You need that.” He had said a bit softer and had pulled Steve out of the car again. “I will wait here.”

And there he was, standing in front of her grave. There were lots of fresh flowers. Probably the other’s had brought them over. Steve swallowed, his fingers brushed along the stone where her name stood on.

“I am sorry I haven’t been here earlier.” He muttered and knelt down, his eyes fixed on the letters. “I know… I should have brought flowers. But… came here by surprise so there was no time to get some.” He somehow apologized, biting down on his lip. “The team is doing fine. We… They miss you though.” Steve swallowed. “I miss you. Hell, you have no clue how much I miss you. I can hardly stop thinking about you. You’re in my thoughts the whole time and… and… why have you left me here alone? Why did you do something so stupid and got killed, Nat? I… How could you dare to leave me like that? I mean… I… I…” Steve closed his eyes for a second, taking in a deep breath. No, he would not start to cry. Not at all.

“Nat, I have told you so many times that you should be more careful. And you… it did not help this time. You got killed and I haven’t been there in time to save you. To protect you. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. Why… why had this to happen? I… I don’t get it. We just… you and me… I… oh, Nat.” His shoulders slumped down a bit and he lowered his head, feeling the wetness on his cheek and wiping the tear away that wanted to trail down his skin. “…..I still don’t get it how this could have happened. I mean… we lead a dangerous life. But I have never thought that… that it would end like that. I already lost so much. And then I met you. And you were… you gave me back hope. You gave me a home. And then… all the good in my life was taken again. This sucks. It really does. How can I continue to live without you? I mean… you’re not here anymore and I… I have to look after myself again. This isn’t fair. This is absolutely not fair.” He had gotten more and more quiet with each and every word.

“Nat, I… I loved you. I still do. And I will always love you. Why does it have to hurt like that?” He muttered and shook his head slowly. “I’m… I’m sorry…” With a hurried movement he got back onto his feet and turned around, clenching his fists. “I wanted to be mad at you for getting killed. But… I can’t be. I… All I feel is the emptiness now. Because you’re not here anymore. You… Nat, I love you.” 

Steve threw one last glance at the grave, at the stone before he rushed away. He could not bear it, standing here for any longer. It still felt as if something would rip his heart out, tear him apart. He had lost the one person he had loved the most. The one who had meant the world to him. How could he ever get over it and move on?


End file.
